Elder of Ziyon Daily News

Turkish columnist exposes many Mossad conspiracies!
Hamas outraged over Mabhouh comedy
Naomi Campbell visits Bethlehem; PA threatens journalists
One of Yemen's few remaining Jews murdered
A two state solution has nothing to do with Jerusalem
Jerusalem Arabs are applying for Israeli citizenship. Must be an evil Israeli plot!
Iran Photoshops an Israeli passport to prove "Mossad spy"
Iranian "news" agency replaces "Iran" with "Israel" in HRW press release

Turkish columnist exposes many Mossad conspiracies!

Posted: 22 May 2012 09:24 PM PDT

It's Mossad!

In 2008, Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas's official news agency, Wafa, reported that Israel (read: Mossad) had released poison-resistant rats to drive Arab residents of Jerusalem out of their homes. Training rats so as to distinguish between Muslim, Christian and Jewish residents of a city must be a remarkable scientific achievement, but apparently "Project Mickey Mouse" must have failed, as evinced by Jerusalem's demography today.

In 2011, Saudi Arabia announced that it had "detained" a vulture carrying an Israeli band. The griffon vulture was carrying a GPS transmitter bearing the name of the Tel Aviv University and was condemned for being a part of a "Zionist espionage plot." Mossad's "Operation Angry Birds" had failed and I do not know if Saudi courts ruled to behead the Zionist spy vulture, sentence it to life in prison, or force it to reveal the names of his collaborators in return for a pardon; but there were rumors that hundreds of camels may have been implanted on the Arabian Peninsula to spy for Israel.

That same year, one of two Turkish celebrities who had been accused of raping call girls defended himself by saying that the whole incident was "an Israeli plot against him." Once again, Mossad had been caught red-handed. The Israeli spy network had successfully infiltrated into the Turkish red-light district, but "Operation Amorous Crescent and Star" failed to deceive the Turkish star and his fans.

And most recently, a migratory bird, a common bee-eater, caused alarm in a Turkish village in the southeast after villagers thought it was an Israeli spy. According to reports, villagers' suspicions were aroused when the bird was found dead in a field with a metal ring around its leg stamped "Israel." They called the police after deciding its nostrils were unusually large and may have carried a microchip fitted by Israeli intelligence for spying.

But this time "Operation Eliyahu Hanavi" went surprisingly well, as the gullible Turkish authorities took the bait that it is common practice to fit a ring to migratory birds in order to track their movements. Fortunately, the Zionist bee-eater was dead and could no longer spy for Israel. All the same, the Turkish intelligence machinery should adopt a pre-emptive strike policy and randomly question migratory birds passing through the Turkish airspace.

Being accused too often by readers for being a Zionist columnist (and an undercover Israeli agent), I feel obliged to warn Mossad that it should put a halt to the practice of stamping fellow spies with names like Israel and Tel Aviv University.

For instance, I successfully spent several years of my journalistic career as an Israeli agent in perfect disguise because I had cleverly refused Mossad's proposal to have on my right arm a tattoo reading "Mossad agent no. 2119129." My spying career would no doubt have progressed if the readers of this column had not been smart enough to uncover me.

Acting as silly as the country's intelligence agency, the Israeli Defense Forces (IDF) reportedly decided to deploy 20,000 commandos on Greek Cyprus. There must be something wrong about the figure in the Turkish state Anatolia news agency's reporting. I feel obliged to correct: In fact, the IDF plans to deploy 200,000, not 20,000, commandos on Cyprus, although it has only a few tens of thousands of commandos in Israel. This new special operation unit will mostly consist of vultures, bee-eaters and poison-resistant rats.

Driving through Central Anatolia last month I smiled at a huge banner in the heart of a town, which read: "Inform the police when you see strangers and suspicious persons – on the police hotline 155." An updated version of this clever neighborhood watch policy could read: "Inform the police when you spot Israeli spies disguised as pink elephants and dragons – with stamps that read 'Israeli spy.'"

Hamas outraged over Mabhouh comedy

Posted: 22 May 2012 01:30 PM PDT

From Gulf News:

Relatives of a Hamas leader allegedly slain by a Mossad hit squad are looking to block the release of an Israeli-French spoof on the raid - not because it portrays him as a "terrorist" but because it shows him drinking in a hotel bar.

The film, which parodies the 2010 killing of Hamas commander Mahmoud Al Mabhouh in his Dubai hotel room in January 2010, stars Israeli supermodel Bar Rafaeli, French actor Tomer Sisley and Israel's Shlomo Bar-Abba, star of the Oscar-nominated Footnote.

"The film undermines the image of our brother, showing him drinking alcohol and meeting in a bar with an Israeli model who seduces him and sets the trap for his assassination," Fayaq Al Mabhouh told AFP in Gaza.

He said his family was planning to sue the producers in the Israeli courts on grounds the film "soils the image of the martyr Mahmoud Al Mabhouh." "We are a conservative, religious family and we respect the reputation of the dead, especially since our brother is an honourable symbol of resistance," he added.

A small reminder: Mabhouh was involved with the abduction and murder of two Israeli soldiers, and there is a video of him standing on their corpses. He smuggled weapons for Hamas in Gaza and was working on getting Iranian weapons into the hands of Hamas terrorists.

But making fun of him is immoral, according to his family - precisely because of his terrorist credentials.

Hamas has added its voice to those outraged by this film. Spokesman Fawzi Barhoum said "it is essential for this farce to be stopped immediately, and all Palestinian human rights and all-loving Palestinian people must stop this," demanding that the Palestinian Bar Association, the Arab Lawyers Union and the World Federation for Lawyers to defend the case and file a lawsuit against the film company and stop the production of this "shameful act."

Yes, a murderous terror group is accusing people making a movie of being "shameful."

Naomi Campbell visits Bethlehem; PA threatens journalists

Posted: 22 May 2012 12:00 PM PDT

From AP:

Supermodel Naomi Campbell has visited the holy West Bank town of Bethlehem on her birthday.

Campbell, wearing a white shirt and black sunglasses, was accompanied by friends, Palestinian guards and her own private security detail, some wearing black-and-white checkered Palestinian scarves.

Palestinian security officials say she lit candles in the Church of the Nativity, built on the spot where Christians believe Jesus was born.

A worker at an adjacent restaurant said Campbell celebrated her birthday with a traditional Palestinian meal of lamb and rice.

She requested anonymity because Palestinian officials threatened to punish people speaking to reporters.

Actually, it looks like the PA threatened any reporters who wanted to cover the story, and they gave exclusive rights to the official government-run PA TV station.

Palestinian Arab journalists protested this, saying that PA security forces threatened to break their cameras if they tried to take pictures.

What a nice state Palestine would be!

One of Yemen's few remaining Jews murdered

Posted: 22 May 2012 10:22 AM PDT

JPost reports:

A member of the Jewish community in the Yemeni capital of Sanaa was stabbed and critically injured by a Muslim man accusing him of witchcraft on Tuesday, AFP quoted the man's son as saying. Army Radio quoted a friend of the victim as saying Aharon Zindani had died as a result of the stab wounds.

The 50-year-old Zindani "was stabbed at Saawan market near the US embassy in northeast Sanaa," his son Yehya was quoted as saying. "He received stab wounds to his neck and stomach."

According to Yehya Zindani, his father was undergoing surgery for his wounds.

He described the attacker as a "well-known person who says my father has ruined and bewitched him." According to Israeli media reports the attacker stabbed Zindani 12 times before being stopped by a group of men and detained.

Al-Arab Online confirms that Zindani died from his wounds.

It says that the murderer cried "You are Jewish and ruined my business with the magic that you use." It also says that the killer was a qat dealer.

A Yemeni human rights group condemned the killing, noting that there has been increasing anti-semitism in recent years in the country, saying there has been "an unjustified campaign of incitement against the Jewish community in Yemen, using racist slogans calling for killing them."

A two state solution has nothing to do with Jerusalem

Posted: 22 May 2012 09:10 AM PDT

This Reuters article pushes one of the biggest myths around:

Named for the crash site of an airforce plane shot down during the Six Day War in 1967, Givat HaMatos may yet prove the place where Palestinian hopes of a creating a capital in Jerusalem also plunge to earth.

'Airplane Hill' lies on the southern fringes of Jerusalem's city limits -- rock-strewn land dotted with shabby, prefabricated bungalows and the occasional pine tree.

Once a tranquil backwater, the area has become the focus of hectic activity in the last six months, with Israeli authorities releasing plans for 2,610 housing units and 1,110 hotel rooms.

With the approval process going more quickly than expected, building could start later this year, creating the first new Israeli settlement in 15 years among the sprawl of a modern Jerusalem that is spread out over many hills.

If that happens, it would effectively cut off the city's Palestinian neighborhoods from Bethlehem in the occupied West Bank, imperiling the Palestinians' prospects for establishing a coherent capital and with it their goal of an independent state.

"There is only so much territorial abuse this tortured land can take before we kill the political options of saving the two- state solution," said Daniel Seidemann, an Israeli attorney who monitors urban developments he thinks affect chances for peace.

In 1947, the Zionists accepted a two-state solution without Jerusalem, the eternal Jewish capital. The reason was because the desire to have a state - no matter what the boundaries - was far more important than anything else.

If statehood and independence is the most important goal for Palestinian Arabs, they would act the same way and would have their state today.

Why does Reuters say, as a fact, that only Jerusalem can be the Palestinian state's "coherent capital?"

Just because Palestinian Arabs insist that Jerusalem is essential to their having a state does not make it so. Indeed, it is provably false, as Ramallah is currently the effective capital of the PA.

They can add Jerusalem to any list of demands they want. They can also demand that Netanyahu do six consecutive somersaults on live television before any peace agreement. But arbitrary demands do not automatically become essential for a two state solution just because Arabs assert it.

Those who mix up Arab demands and a real two-state solution are not doing anything to advance the cause of peace.

Jerusalem Arabs are applying for Israeli citizenship. Must be an evil Israeli plot!

Posted: 22 May 2012 07:30 AM PDT

Here's hilarious example of how the anti-Israel Left engages in bizarre conspiracy theories to explain things they simply cannot understand.

From Riman Barakat in 972mag:

As an East Jerusalem resident, I am struck by a recent trend: many of my friends and acquaintances who hold Jerusalem identification cards – documents of permanent residency rather than Israeli citizenship – are quietly applying for and obtaining Israeli passports.

It's not immediately clear why. Current residents of East Jerusalem – numbering over 350,000, or 38% of the city's total population – already go about their daily lives, shop at Israeli malls, use Israeli services, frequent Israeli restaurants and bars, send their children to study at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, and receive Israeli social and health benefits. What does "upgrading their status" from East Jerusalem residents to citizens of Israel add? Why did East Jerusalem residents refuse the Israeli offer of citizenship in 1967, and why are they actively seeking to obtain it now, especially given that citizenship requires them to pledge the controversial oath of allegiance to the Israeli state?

I believe the trend is the result of a well-planned and consistently applied Israeli strategy to pressure the Palestinian population of East Jerusalem.

Of course! If Palestinian Arabs voluntarily choose to become Israeli citizens, it has to be a nefarious Jewish plot!

It cannot possibly be that they see the Palestinian Authority is a corrupt dictatorship with ever-increasing totalitarian tendencies and they believe that their lives, and the lives of their families, would be infinitely better under Israeli sovereignty. No, that's crazy talk. It must be that Israel, by asking them to prove their residency status periodically, is really pressuring them to become Israeli citizens against their will.

Because, of course, as 972mag nutcases know all too well, those evil Jewish Zionists naturally want to pressure the hated Arabs of "East Jerusalem" to become Israeli citizens and increase the number of Arab citizens in the Jewish state. This must be another form of "ethnic cleansing."

(Here is also another way that Arab leaders infantilize their own people, not giving them credit for doing what they want to do and instead finding ways to blame Israel for Arabs acting in ways that don't adhere to their cherished - and often false - narrative.)

Barakat's agenda becomes a bit clearer later in this nonsensical piece:

As the PA turns a blind eye to the phenomenon of East Jerusalemites becoming Israelis, I wonder: does the PA still adhere to the vision of East Jerusalem as the future capital of Palestine? If not, the PA should start discussing the possibility of an Open City immediately, both internally and publicly.

Here we see the truth. To Barakat, Jerusalem being a Palestinian Arab capital is not the most important goal - the goal is to ensure that it is not Jewish!

You know how important it is for Jerusalem to be an Arab city, as we are constantly reminded? Well, it isn't really that important. Better it be under UN control than allowing Jews to have a say in how their capital is run.

This is entirely consistent with the Arab attitude towards Jerusalem in 1949, when all Arab countries (except for Jordan) pushed the UN to make Jerusalem an international city. Nothing then about the eternal importance of Jerusalem to Muslims, no cheer that the Old City was under Muslim control - no, to them, it was more important that all of Jerusalem - including the western side - be taken away from the Jews. And this is what Barakat is saying here.

Barakat, a Palestinian Arab who is now Co-Director of the Israel-Palestine Center for Research and Information - as liberal an organization as any Arab is likely to join - shows that even for her, the true goal is reducing the amount of land ruled by Jews, and not "Palestinian statehood." A Palestinian Arab state is just the means to that other goal, not the goal itself.

(h/t Arnold Roth)

Iran Photoshops an Israeli passport to prove "Mossad spy"

Posted: 22 May 2012 05:40 AM PDT

From Emanuele Ottolenghi at Commentary:

Last week, Iranian blogger Potkin Azarmehr questioned the authenticity of reports that Iran had executed Majid Jamali Fashi, the 24-year-old Iranian accused of carrying out the assassination of Iranian nuclear scientist Massoud-Ali Mohammadi.

This morning, Potkin circulated a snapshot of an Israeli passport, showcased on Iranian TV, which authorities claim is evidence that Fashi was an Israeli agent.

Harry's Place notices:

The passport Iranian television is claiming belonged to the alleged "Israeli spy" (see Gene's story below) is a crude forgery copied directly from a facsimile of an Israeli passport on Wikipedia. Such was the ineptitude that the word "forgery" is in fact too generous – they made no effort to even change the details. The only difference is the new photo inexpertly pasted over the original (without even paying attention to the stamps). Details blacked out in the Wikipedia image are simply erased while visible details are left exactly as is.

It isn't even a good Photoshop job. And even Iranians noticed that the photograph does not show him looking at the camera, as every passport photo has.

Just something else to keep in mind when Iran claims to have caught "Zionist spies."

(h/t David T)

Iranian "news" agency replaces "Iran" with "Israel" in HRW press release

Posted: 22 May 2012 02:55 AM PDT

From HRW, in a press release about human rights abuses in Bahrain:

United Nations member states should scrutinize Bahrain's deplorable human rights record during the country's Universal Periodic Review (UPR) at the UN Human Rights Council on May 21, 2012, Human Rights Watch said today.

The voice of the international community has been subdued regarding Bahrain's manifold violations, especially compared with the international response to abuses in Syria, Libya, Iran, and other Middle Eastern countries, Human Rights Watch said.

Iran's FARS News reports on this statement, but it seemed to have a problem with HRW's list of countries performing human rights abuses:

The voice of the international community has been subdued regarding Bahrain's manifold violations, especially compared with the international response to abuses in Israel, Saudi Arabia and other Middle Eastern countries, Human Rights Watch said.

The list of countries engaging in human rights abuses changed from "Iran and its allies" to "Iran's enemies."

That's Iranian "news" for you.